Abdou Diop 0001

Trying to make sense of it 0001

Not the kind of man you take home to your mum, except until things went wrong he seemed exactly that sort of man.

It's only money


It's only money
Only the lost hours of labour's labour.
The bodies sweat pilfered.  Dreams
I have dared to dream - pocketed.
By the trusty dipper, dip, dip.

But it's only dreams.

The lace, noose, stitched up, girdle tight
By a father's son, a daughter's dad,
Businessman's guile, with his fraud safe systems
For shame shifting.  Breath - less.

But it's only money.

Your moral highground scuppered
In a fog of fantasy as you laugh your God
Back through the eye of the needle
With its pain pricked precision

But it's only worship

And the man who thundered you into shape
Sees your shape shifting
Thrifty, shifty, dip dip
And wails, like I wail, at your betrayal

But it's only trust

While the lost friends stare
At the lost ranting lunatic's fear
And fear. Disappear. Along
With my money and you - my money and you.

To my great aunt and my grandmother for their help with my housing plus Maggie!

My grandmother was a bit of a feminist in her own way.  She and her sister shared a house and the deal was that who ever lived longest they would inherit and then I would inherit but only grandma put that in her will. So when she died first and her sister shortly after the money got displaced amongst a lot of unseen before relatives. But the money left over started my house pot and my great Aunt Marjorie added to it.  As a result I was able to buy my Council Flat, given how much I hated her who would have thought I would owe something to Maggie given my politics.

When I moved to Hertfordshire, I let the flat out.  The guy I let it out to redecorated in his own inimitable style, really good, till I realised that my late grandmother's gate leg table was now half its original size.  Court cases followed I got my money back and my insurance, but not my late grandmother's gate leg table and that was probably the most important thing or several other items I had left in the flat to make him more comfortable. That taught me if you are going to let out a property do not have feelings for it or the things in it.

I had been pleased to leave the flat as our neighbours had subjected us to verbal abuse, but I had to run from the next flat I lived in when we became subject to racist abuse.  My son got bullied at school but we stuck it out in Hertfordshire and with my job secure I moved into my first house and family home and my son and I were happy there. But when he left,as I was now suffering from M.E and finding it more and more difficult to afford its upkeep and manage its upkeep I downsized. The plan being to use the residue for a small property somewhere else and flip and rent my flat out and live in the small place. However, continuous problems with the flat have put that plan on hold till recently. I finally had the money together and had already seen a potential place in Portugal where I could live with my son.  So hopefully I can move soon.