Jeff/ Dad and Grandma 1975

 Jeff = Dad and grandma never really resolved their differences,  and my grandmother and my mother had chunks of time when they did not speak to each other over it and then of course my mother died and my grandma lived on a long time.  Now Jeff has gone too.  Quite what lay behind his poor relationship with Grandma is hard to say, money came in to it, but they seemed to come at the topic from different perspectives and understandings.  People often thought Grandma was being cutting, a true Scorpio.  I am not sure that was her motive, sometimes one wants to be considered and have ones views listened to, especially if one is in the know, factored into the story.   For a long time I found Jeff quite difficult, I loved Grandma, but was definitely not sure about her choice of white bread and ham at times, my relationship with Jeff was more complicated, but I will miss him as I miss her.  

So what was she doing this time in 1975

14th January Dr. Tablets and granular sachets.(Not sure) letter from Helen. New address!

15th Wrote Helen.  

17th. Temperature:ear aid fitted. 

18th Have cold?  Sore on lip. 

19th. Sunny all day, did not go out very bad diarrhea during night. 

20th still bad vision not steady. rain all day. Laura signed will and Ethel. 

21st.  France's birthday sunny again, rather cold. Good night's sleep. 

22nd. Rain all day.  

23rd rain and heavy wind. TWGSS studies. 

24th rain again. visited Ethel, she has a heavy cold. I seem to have one.  

26th Sunny warm rain later. 

27th. Ditto. 

28th. TWG.  heavy rain and wind, did not go.  "cold hanging about and aching. "

Grandma always seemed to be ill, but then I notice in many of my emails I too talk about not being good for several days.  Gradually she improved. 

4th February, little better. 

5th Wednesday.  posted Helen's parcel, still rather bad. 

6th. Mrs Hill's birthday. S.S. did not go. 

8th Helen's birthday. 

11, TWG. Party. Went but not feeling well. 

I am not sure what T.W.G was or S.S. (perhaps social studies)  but grandma shows she had a group of close associates and friends and people she constantly corresponded with, but the weather and her health seemed to dominate her life. 

Early 62 and 63

Life is a precipice,  we spend a life time looking over it,  but stepping back to carry on with life.  With old age, we know one day we will go over.   But this Christmas three people have passed, one young and two old so it can come any time.     Hence the need to get on with life.  I hope I have years left to visit all the places I want to go to.  People I hope to re-meet but there is a good chance I will just potter on, not get round to half the things, as there is always something new too, and then daily life, which is what my grandma captured just goes on too. However, at the start of 1962, things were not going well. 

 

2nd January. 

Jeff mad.  I tried to head him off- none of my business what Y does with the children.  I countered with Brian.  Lying Jeff gibbered - so you'll write to Brian - warned him not to put words into my mouth. 

3rd January.  

Helen did not know she was being punished, mother not saying goodnight, said mother got into trouble for going up to Nicky. Swept ice away...Helen ? joker?  about Jeff - told (tried to Y she attacked me bruised and slapped face - ? You are a devil trying to ruin my life! Shocked never uttered a sound. 

Grandma has crossed out 62 and written 63, it is hard to tell thereafter whether she is talking about 62 or 63. 

Thursday 10th 63 Babs op.  

13th.  Very cold. Up late. Only swept stairs. Cinema - Jumbo very good - cinema warm and comfortable.  Albert at hospital. Power but 9.30 - 10.30. 

14th Toilet paper on chair - Jeff took?  

15th Babs to go home tomorrow, Weds after lunch. 

19th very cold - did not go out all day. 

21 very cold and slippery. left shoulder, ear painful. (draught at office) letter from Hilda - wrote Worthing (Easter and Paignton Holiday

Y and J electric blanket - my electricity. 

28th underground strike. 

1st February.  Babs said they want to get me out. 

4th/5th.  Posted letter to Y 62.  Paid TV licence 63. 

6th received letter Y (ours had crossed) they do want me to get out offer £600, remember J nattered something about house Jan 2. 

8th Helen's birthday I gave paints and blouse.  

8th 63 Helen's birthday gave my gold cross and chain and HMV record Oklahoma. She had at least two others "Pop ones" Jean early evening. Y only just in.  ( I think I still have a copy of that record)

9th Helen's Party 3 - 7.30. Weather very cold.  

14th 1963 Hospital out patients Babs.  Ambulance went in saw her on Train 4.29 Harry ill hospitla when bed available. very cold. snowing not re shed. 

17th 63. Went to Welling to see Harry and Win - Harry very queer home 11.45 

18th 63 Children not got school.  Cold snow in night. 

19th 63 Children home from school. 

20th Y out. Children still not at school, no fuel. card from Win re Harry. She is panicky. Cancer?

22nd 63 Y out. Snow again. morning slipped on stairs back hurts. Fog, afternoon and snow storm. Letter from Brian Y schedule A? 

23rd. Children with Jean weekend. Received letter from my sol.enclosing one from Y sol. Ultimatum? They are determined to house me out. Sheer persecution. No hint of needing more room before. 

31st March 1962 Yvonne married again, terrible day for me. No speak no hint, nothing. 

There are some pages from the 63 diary, torn out and tucked into the 62 diary. 

Monday 18th March.  Hilda's birthday.  Helen seeing some of her toys thrown out (dustbin) said to her mother "if it is thrown out again I will go with it. " adding "I mean that!!.  terrible thing for  a child of 8 to say - why should she use such a threat - is she unhappy?  I have already pointed out that her mind is disturbed.  

I had had the most wonderful rocking horse,  I loved tipping it right up, but at 8 I was deemed too old for it,  I remember being upset at the time that my things were being chucked out,  so interesting to see the observations of how things were a year after my mother's second marriage and also how bad things were between her and my grandmother. 

Time to return to the grandmother's. Christmas 82

 My chances of being a grandmother diminish every day, but luckily I am an aunt to several children, here and in Kenya. 

I was turned off writing this up by the comments but after the sudden and unexpected death of my late father's wife, I have acquired letters from my father's mother to him during the war and they have opened up his early life. I need to record them before they fade away and I also have the first world war letters - somewhere of my mother's father, and they too need recording so time to return to the grandmothers and grandfathers.  

So let's see what my Grandma Helen talks about re Christmas 82. 

Christmas Day Sat 25th.  dull but warmer, after tea and biscuits about 6 am back to bed and eventurally slept till 10 am. So late all day but checked was bought cooked. Helen rang after she is alone in flat Rosy having gone to India for a month. Helen is having the "Groombridges" Sunday, turkey etc - she will be busy - going to join Jeff and Jennie in Cambridge Monday.  I had 24 or 25 cards cannot count. 

I remember that Christmas so well, it was the first and only time I spent Christmas Day alone and it was the worst Christmas of my life despite having arranged to see people the following two days, in fact without this diary entrance I would have thought I had spent the whole period on my own and that is my recollection but I obviously didn't, which is nice to know. 

It has been very windy and very wet this winter, seems it was the same New Year 83.  

Thursday 6th.  Up fairly early, had decided to visit Mrs Hill (the land festing road" - very windy, had forgotten my usual way there and it is farther than I managed for ages.  arrived ok and surprised to find her daughter there - I thought school (she is a school mistress) had started!! not till next Monday. "refused tea - I could see they had had theirs - took talc and sweets - she, Florence is cooking very frail doing knitting - but still complaining that Doreen will not let her do anything - wish I had someone around like her 2 daughters but I do understand how bored she gets. 

I still feel guilty for not helping my grandma more when I used to see her, especially in her last year of life, but usually she refused the help offered.  However, she is in my mind when I try and help my step dad to the commode or help him eat.    I cannot help her, but try to help another. 

Christmas cards 2023