Having been totally remise re writing up some of these diary entries a project to keep people's diaries has reminded me to do something with my Grandma's diary and makes me think this project maybe somewhere I can eventually deposit her words.

The Great Diary Project.

Sunday dull then sunshine 10 am out afternoon to post letter to Helen, walked the long way home - legs tried.

Monday 8th March 1982. Did not wake early (7.0) not till Olive brougth me up tea 8.30. Sunny all day but cold. Did not go out back very painful again. Janet did not come.

Tuesday dull then sun - heavy rain evening. Awoke from 5 am this morning "Loo" (not sure if this is correct) up before 7 am did feet!! 3 cups of tea! 1.50 out P.O. and little shopping. legs very slow - back still hurting, despite 4 does of aspiraings - nuisance and letter from Elsie.

Wed Sun and shower cold wind put Dustbins out.

Thursday 11 sun and shower again about noon went to "Waitrose" with "trolly" for heavy stuff, not too much and shop as though fairly empty still trying to stitch pocket in my green coat, very difficult to thread needle. Laura called about 4 o'clock, she had cup of tea with me - she is not very well I think - and depressed as well are by old age. Brought Dustbins in - just as well dids left off and rain in them. Next door (37) still dirty and dustbin stuff littered about wish I had a hard broom!!.

Abdou Diop 0001

Trying to make sense of it 0001

Not the kind of man you take home to your mum, except until things went wrong he seemed exactly that sort of man.

It's only money


It's only money
Only the lost hours of labour's labour.
The bodies sweat pilfered.  Dreams
I have dared to dream - pocketed.
By the trusty dipper, dip, dip.

But it's only dreams.

The lace, noose, stitched up, girdle tight
By a father's son, a daughter's dad,
Businessman's guile, with his fraud safe systems
For shame shifting.  Breath - less.

But it's only money.

Your moral highground scuppered
In a fog of fantasy as you laugh your God
Back through the eye of the needle
With its pain pricked precision

But it's only worship

And the man who thundered you into shape
Sees your shape shifting
Thrifty, shifty, dip dip
And wails, like I wail, at your betrayal

But it's only trust

While the lost friends stare
At the lost ranting lunatic's fear
And fear. Disappear. Along
With my money and you - my money and you.

To my great aunt and my grandmother for their help with my housing plus Maggie!

My grandmother was a bit of a feminist in her own way.  She and her sister shared a house and the deal was that who ever lived longest they would inherit and then I would inherit but only grandma put that in her will. So when she died first and her sister shortly after the money got displaced amongst a lot of unseen before relatives. But the money left over started my house pot and my great Aunt Marjorie added to it.  As a result I was able to buy my Council Flat, given how much I hated her who would have thought I would owe something to Maggie given my politics.

When I moved to Hertfordshire, I let the flat out.  The guy I let it out to redecorated in his own inimitable style, really good, till I realised that my late grandmother's gate leg table was now half its original size.  Court cases followed I got my money back and my insurance, but not my late grandmother's gate leg table and that was probably the most important thing or several other items I had left in the flat to make him more comfortable. That taught me if you are going to let out a property do not have feelings for it or the things in it.

I had been pleased to leave the flat as our neighbours had subjected us to verbal abuse, but I had to run from the next flat I lived in when we became subject to racist abuse.  My son got bullied at school but we stuck it out in Hertfordshire and with my job secure I moved into my first house and family home and my son and I were happy there. But when he left,as I was now suffering from M.E and finding it more and more difficult to afford its upkeep and manage its upkeep I downsized. The plan being to use the residue for a small property somewhere else and flip and rent my flat out and live in the small place. However, continuous problems with the flat have put that plan on hold till recently. I finally had the money together and had already seen a potential place in Portugal where I could live with my son.  So hopefully I can move soon.

Thursday 5th September 1986

I have not kept up with this blog, so apologies as this is being uploaded rather late.

My grandmother wrote.

I cannot keep up this diary - eye so bad so much to do cooking washing up I'm so slow and hands (left) stiffens and feel ill - digestion or heart or both have to keep sitting down.

Wednesday August 26th.1981

Fell trying to cross Victoria Road, "dithered" on kerb then fell turning back, kindly motorist from other side stopped and picked me up and Police Car came along and insisted taking me home. Olive was home but may not have seen Police Car through tree and bushes. has never said a word or enquired though I have left below knee bandaged - nasty gash and both ankles grazed so go downstairs sideways. Elsie N was out - but someone apparently saw and told her re Police Car!



Wednesday 26/08/15
Not feeling very well, so cancelled online work.  Torrential rain. Plumber found taps, I was feeling a bit more human, so was happy to have him come and repair the leak. £100.